Ishmael is a soldier now. He used to be a boy but the war changed him, along with everyone else he knew. As soon as he accepted his gun, he became an adult. Now he has to live with the thoughts of killing with no mercy, for the rest of his life. When he had all the drugs and was killing he never had to think. Now that he has nothing, he has everything to think of, including his family he will never see again. Once you see death, you can never really go back and erase it from your mind, like UNICEF is hoping for. He is not ever really going to be a kid again, because seeing the things he saw changed him. So when he tries to be a kid again, all he knows is how to be a soldier.
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